RE: BLAH!

Alright, I might as well start off by saying that I was in no way, shape or form mad/annoyed/disappointed with you yesterday. I just thought that we should have discussed this alone (no offence K). Now, how ironic is it that I'm responding via the internet. possibly the least private place on this planet. But, seeing as we only have one follower, and anyone else who probably reads this wont know who either of us are, then I don't see why I cant address your concerns the same way you presented them to me. Now when I go into everything that you talk about, I don't want to sound rude, or anything like that, 'cause you were in a very good mood today and I don't want to screw that up. You want honest answers so here they are. Withholding information - I honestly didn't realize that I was doing this so often. Most of the time I unknowingly did this, but I do admit there have been a couple of times that I have done it on purpose. I, myself, can't figure out how I could be so oblivious. Your right, you do always tell me never to withhold anything, because "withholding = lying". Although you have said it many times, I didn't even realize what I had been doing. Even worse was the fact that what I was doing was hurtful in many ways. To know that you could be so bothered by something like this makes me hate myself for not noticing what I was doing, EVEN AFTER you told me I was doing it. The previous post has been somewhat of a wake up call to me. I realize, now, how hurtful and disrespectful it was. I know everyone says this, but "I'm sorry". I really am. Had I been more aware, and understood that you were getting hurt, I would have never have done such a thing! Now that I am fully away of my wrongdoings, and I know how much it bothers you, I will stop withholding all information! And if you ever catch me doing it, or even if you feel like I'm not telling you the whole story, let me know at once! (Fuck, I don't know why, but when I'm writing apology letters I write so formally. People are probably like what the fuck?) For the record, replying to everything you wrote about is a difficult task. You address so many things at once, and then topics switch so quickly! Not that your a bad writer, everything flows wonderfully. It's just so hard to keep up with my responses! Ok, so I do admit that I have withheld information in the past, but I promise you, I have never ever lie to you straight up! Let alone lied straight to your face. When I say I'm going somewhere, or I am meeting someone specific, I really am doing that. I'm being as honest as I can be when I say that I actually did go to my aunts house after we hung out, I didn't do anything with her that night or anyone else for that matter. I did what I said I was going to do. And in regards to the time when she was leaving for school. I only said she wants me to hang out with her more than I hang out with you. And I'm not just saying this in my own defence. Sure, we did see each other more than once during that week, but it wasn't more than I saw you. You probably think my memory is bad but don't you remember when I said that I couldn't wait 'til she left? I specifically remember stressing that she wanted to hang out too much! Now, I know she may be somewhat attractive and yes, she is a very nice girl. But I want to make it crystal clear that I have NO feelings for this girl. She is nothing more than a friend, I promise this to you. I cannot describe how my feelings for you outweigh, out power and will outlast any feelings that I have for her (we are talking friendship feelings here... otherwise I would have just contradicted myself there). There is no "special Shoppers bond", we don't more in common than you and I do and there is NOTHING that I like about S more than I like about you! Which brings me to my next point: why I would (knowingly) withhold information. See, I know what it probably looks like. I am in a relationship with you and I have her off to the side, as if I had feelings for her, right? Completely wrong idea though. She is a friend, and sometimes I do want to go see here. But if I were to tell you that I was going to see another female, I didn't want you to get jealous. Especially when you are constantly joking how she is my "other girlfriend". I see now why that was stupid. It only made it even worse. And this is only dealing with the case of S. For all other times I'm sorry. But like I said, I promise I won't do anything like this again! After seeing how much this bothered and hurt you, it makes me feel horrible about myself. Especially when I realize that at some points I did it on purpose. Never feel like someone outshines you baby. I call you my One and Only for a reason. I love you and I am very sorry for what I did. I don't mean to cut this short but we MUST skype tonight! I refuse to flop!

Ti amo!