The Resuscitation!

So, one may have thought that that this blog was a something of the past. A metaphorical fossil of our relationship. What you said on the phone tonight about the beginning of relationships being "different" got me thinking. Are all relationships doomed to end in the same manor? The typical, or textbook, layout of a relationship is as follows: Boy meets girl (or vise versa), they start "dating" as some may call it, things are good in the beginning, then things deteriorate further and further into the relationship until one of the two pulls the plug. I'm sure there are other ways a relationship can unfold, but things conventionally follow this pattern. Is this really how things have to end up? Some say that the more you try to hold on to something, the faster it slips away. Now, this may sound negative and dismal but I don't mean for it to be this way. There is very, very little to complain about in terms of our relationship recently. I have never been happier! I guess the reason for this post (one of the reasons, as I will explain later) is to attempt to refresh our relationship in an old fashioned way. It almost seems oxymoronic to think that picking up something we USED to do in order to "refresh" or relationship would be logical. That being said, I also don't want this post to make you feel like our bonds need refreshing. When you spoke to me over the phone, it seemed almost as though you longed for things to be the way they used to be. I realize that this is not entirely true: we have come a long way since we first started dating. It would be foolish to throw away everything that we have worked towards just to relive how things were. Maybe I just misunderstood entirely! Either way, no harm can possibly come from posting this. I know how much you love notes, letters, messages and blog posts, and considering the last time I wrote a note on your iPod was on November 2nd and the last post on this blog was on the 28th of January, we are both quite overdue for a little message or two.

Originally, I had panned to make a website for our 8 months. Apparently, I am a man of habit, and that idea flopped like most of my others. You probably think I just claim to make videos,or in this case, I claim to make websites so that it would appear as if I were putting an effort into the relationship when in reality I wasn't. I assure you this is untrue! I really was working on a website for our 8 months, I can prove it to you the next time I visit with Mackenzie. The reason this idea didn't come to fruition was because it was actually more complicated than I thought when I started making it. In order for me to publish the website so you, my girlfriend, could access it on the world wide web required that I had an FTP server, account name and password as well as protocol, directory paths and server addresses. Despite my efforts of Googling and searching Yahoo Answers, I came up short yet again. This actually makes me feel horrible! You made me your video, which was so cute and heartwarming. No matter what you say about it, I still loved and appreciated it. Meanwhile, I have nothing to offer after you have put your efforts and emotions into the video. I just hope you understand that I do appreciate everything that you do for me and that all your hard work doesn't go unnoticed. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you this, but I actually do still watch the video from time to time.It wasn't just a watch-it-with-Deb-then-forget-about-it kind of things. It always brightens my day. Now, I know this doesn't compare to actually seeing the website (nor does it come close to your video) but I'll tell you about some of the things that were going to be on the website. To start, there was an intro page with a small little something I wrote about being with you for 8 months. From here there were was a multitude of links that you could click on. The first of these was "Photos". Obviously this took you to a page were there was a selection of pictures of us spanning from Hotstay I to your semi. Second, there was a page for movies. I remember you telling me that you never got the little vlog I made (although I swear I sent it to you). So this page had the vlog there for you to stream whenever you wanted! Third, I made a little tribute to each of the Hotsays including maps of the locations of each one. I had a link titled "Forthcoming" to outline everything that was yet to come. This page featured, among other things, countdown clocks to both your Prom and to when your parents left for Cuba! Lastly, there was a page titled "Music" where I basically posted a whole bunch of our songs to listen to! If I ever do figure out how to publish the site, I will let you know as soon as I do. Oh, I almost forgot. The URL of the site would have been www.justplaindeadly.com!

Aside from telling you about the attempt at a website, I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. Like you said in your video, it seems repetitive to keep saying the same things over and over again. I feel like over the last couple of months my appreciation for you has grown immensely. The more time I spend with you, the more I fall for you. I believe that you have taught me so much over the last 8 months, but I also think that there is so much more to be learned. There is so much more to experience with each other. 8 moths may seem like a long time, but in relation to a lifetime without you, 8 moths is very short indeed. Like I have said many times before, I never thought I'd be in a relationship that lasted more than a month. But now that I have see what joy and love you have brought me, I wan't to make sure that I do everything in my power to make this relationship last as long as possible. Your more than just a girlfriend; your also a dear friend. A friend that I know I can talk to about anything, a friend that I can rely on, and a friend that will always be there for me to lean on. I know "a friend" seems to hold less significance than a "girlfriend", but this specific type of friendship is more that just someone to hang out with. It's the type that will last for a lifetime. If we ever do lose touch, I will always consider you a dear friend. I really hope the whole "friend" thing doesn't convey the wrong message, what I'm trying to get at is difficult to explain. And I hope you feel the same way about me. Even if I don't show it sometimes, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. I mean that truthfully. I know you tell me that it is never a good thing to thing about the end of a relationship, but no matter where or how this relationship ends up, there will always be a very special place in my heart for my first love: Debora Rexho. I love you Deb!

I actually had planned to post something to the blog, just to see how long it would take before you realized I had posted something, but for now, I'll just let you know by sending the link as an inbox on Facebook. I feel that the more time that goes by without you reading it, the less relevance it will have. Maybe I'll post something like "Let me know when you see this" another day ;)

Just remember, don't tempt me, 'cause I WILL kiss your eyeball! I'll do it, I swear!

Ti amo, Debora